Friday, January 11, 2013

Product Review: Whisky Stones

Over the holidays I received Whisky Stones as a gift from my brother.  My sister, independent of my brother, also had the same idea.  So, I had two boxes of this product to try out.  Not familiar with this item?  Worry not.  I have analyzed and tested this product, as only an incurable malt fanatic can.

The Marketplace
A marketable product is one that meets a consumer need/demand or better yet, is an innovation that no one else has brought to market.

The Consumer Need
To my mind, Whisky Stones is a product that targets the consumer who does not enjoy whisky neat at room temperature.  For them it is too strong.  So, such a consumer adds ice.  As you undoubtedly know, the ice chills the drink and at the same time dilutes the whisky, making it smoother and removing some of what novices or casual drinkers regard to be an  unpleasant 'bite.'

One of the problems with ice is that if you do not drink quickly, the melting ice will over dilute the whisky.

The Innovation
On the back of the packaging, I read:

"Teroforma's Whisky Stones are made in Vermont from natural soapstone, by craftsmen of some of the oldest soapstone workshops in the United States.  The stones are non-porous, and will impart neither flavor nor odor.  More gentle than ice, Whisky Stones can be used to cool down your favorite spirits just enough to take the edge off without "closing down" the flavors."

Soapstone instead of ice cubes?  The stones are non-porous, and will impart neither flavor nor odor?  That's a tall order, and if those claims are true, this product is a terrific innovation.  But, before we launch balloons and parade down the street high fiving each other, let's see what my field research turned up.

The Analysis
The instructions for the whisky stones are simple:

(1)  Rinse with water;

(2)  air dry;

(3)  place in the freezer for four hours before use;

(4)  add three stones to a tumbler and fill to the height of one stone your favorite beverage.

I did not follow the instructions to a "T."  I did wash the stones under the tap thoroughly.  I did not 'air dry' them.  Instead I dried them off with a tea cloth and tossed them in the freezer.  I did wait the minimum four hours, actually it was like 12 before I plopped three stones in a drink.

. . .

I started with Linkwood 15 years.  A single malt, whose flavor profile, I am well acquainted with, as you can judge by the level of the bottle pictured above.

". . . will neither impart flavor nor odor . . ." claims the packaging.

Sadly, I must report that the Linkwood flavor profile had been affected by the presence of the stones in the single malt.  The whisky stones impart a mineral, slate, flinty, even wooden taste to the malt that appears on the finish.  It's subtle, slight but those off notes are unmistakably there.

I thought maybe the fact that I did not let the stones 'air dry' may have contributed to the flavor impairment.  Using a cloth might somehow not be as good.  So, I repeated the exercise, but  adhered to the commandment that they 'air dry' before being transferred to the freezer.  Result: Still tasting those off notes as observed above.

Still perplexed, I thoroughly washed the stones again.  I mean I held the little bastards under the damn kitchen tap for an eternity (think a full episode of the wife's Gilmore Girls).   Air dry and back to the bleedin' freezer once more.  Ten hours or so later, when I fixed myself a drink, the flavor impairment still occurred but was somewhat more restrained.  I guess the washing helped . . . a little.

So far, all I accomplished was a waste of precious Linkwood.

Control Test
The last time I was in a science class was in high school and I was not a stellar student.  I remember two things from biology class: (1) Della, a red-headed girl in my class was drop dead gorgeous; and (2) the need for a scientific control when conducting an experiment.

In a nutshell, a 'control' is a baseline or a recognizable standard that can serve as a helpful reference for the results of an experiment.  Is that clear as mud?  I know, I should have just described how hot Della was.  Actually she could have been a control for a hotness scale.  Ahh better save that for another post and hope my wife is not reading this post . . .

Anyhow, what scientific control could I use that would serve as a baseline for comparison with the addition of whisky stones?  My knowledge of Linkwood is new.  Maybe I should be more conservative.  So, I went back to a blended scotch whisky that I know intimately (unlike Della).  Teacher's Highland Cream.

I know 'Teacher's.'  I can pick it out in a tidal wave of drams at a blind tasting.  I know that crispy bacon, malty, almost petrol peat flavor profile anywhere.

So, I plunked three whisky stones into a tumbler of Teacher's to see if I could detect an impairment of this most excellent of economy blended scotch whiskies.

The result?  More disappointment.  That damn flinty, wooden taste was there on the finish.  I tested, re-tested, matter of fact, I sent that tumbler to remedial class for more testing.  And!  It failed.  Dumb as a frozen boot I tell ya!

In the spirit of science I thought let's do a control test that is beyond reproach.

Water - Über Control Test
I drink a lot of water.  I know it well.  Brita filter pitcher and a glass is what I sip at night.  If there ever was a 'control' it is water.  Accordingly, I thought I would take a glass of water and add three whisky stones to it and see if it imparted any flavors?

I could taste something slightly 'off'' in the water.  By the time I got to the bottom of the glass there was something definitely Flintstone funky going on.  To the untrained palate, I suppose they might miss it, but if you are reading this blog and know one or two whiskies well, I assure you, you would pick up on the flavor disturbance produced by these stones.

Chill?
Another claim made by the makers of the whisky stones is that they 'chill' the whisky, take the edge off without 'closing down' the flavors.

My experience is not consistent with this claim.  I find that the whisky stones barely chill the spirit in the tumbler at all.  I was expecting the stones to really knock down the water or scotch temperature with a frostiness akin to a cold stare from Judi Dench.    I was disappointed.  The stones very quickly warm up, unlike Judi.













Conclusion
I cannot recommend the whisky stones.  While they make impressive claims, our scientific method proved that their claims are . . . just that.  This product brings to mind automotive fuel additives that tout improved mileage with a hodge podge of psuedo science, but when critically examined prove to be hokey, like the potions peddled by snake oil salesman of the wild west.  Hopefully, these trendy whisky stones will go the way of the bouffant hairdomood ring, typewriter and bell bottom jeans.  Out of vogue and never to be seen again.

Cheers!


Jason Debly
Copyright © Jason Debly, 2009-2012. All rights reserved. Any and all use is prohibited without permission.  Photo credits:  Photograph of tumbler with ice melting adjacent to it is by Flickr member t2tantan who holds all copyright and licenses concerning its use.  No reproduction is permitted without obtaining the consent of t2tantan.  Photograph of chalk on chalk board was taken by Flickr member Dunja Dumanski, who holds all copyright and licences concerning its use.  No reproduction is permitted without obtaining the consent of Dunja Dumanski.  Photograph of Judi Dench taken by Flickr member Caroline Bonarde Ucci who has graciously granted a GNU Free Documentation Licence.  All other photographs were taken by yours truly.  Note: All images appearing in this article are for the purposes of nostalgia, education and entertainment. Moreover, all images used are considered by the author to be significant in illustrating the subject matter, facilitating artistic/critical commentary, as it provides an immediate relevance to the reader more capably than the textual description.

28 comments:

  1. http://www.barmans.co.uk/products/product.asp?ID=5389&awc=2412_1357881958_2ad0db3e6d9084d871cac916a66185a0&affID=987654321

    Hey cuz - may I suggest a more practical solution that will no doubt have a greater impact on your image rather than the quality of your drink ... Aiko's tumbler ! Cheers, H

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Heh, heh, yeah, it chills the whisky a helluva lot better than the stones!

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  2. Jason, you've already proven to us in the last couple years that you have serious whisky stones, there's no need for the reassurance of a commercial product. Isn't that the lesson here?

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    1. Very witty! Yeah, I got big balls . . . uuhm but I think they are in my wife's purse . . .

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  3. Nice write up Jason. I too received stones from two different people over the holidays. Unfortunately for me, I'd already tried them at a friends and come to much the same conclusion as you. I didn't notice as much of a taste difference, but I whole-heartedly agree on the cooling. There is none, and that's the whole point of the stones, too cool my whisk(e)y. Cheers!

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  4. I received, what appear to be, stainless steel 'whisky stones' as a Christmas gift also. I have them in the freezer but haven't tried them yet...never really saw the need. But I think maybe some scientific experimentation is in order...though I will now experiment with the cheap stuff. Thanks Jason. Great blog.

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    1. Haven't heard of those but it would be interesting if they affect taste or not.

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  5. As a scientist, I applaud your attempts at using a control experiment, and putting the stones in water was smart. You did not definitively rule out the possibility, however, that the chilling of the whisky/water was producing the "off" flavors. You could put the naked liquid in the fridge until a similar level of chilling was achieved in order to fully cement what most people already know: whisky stones are stupid.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for the insight. Like I said, I wasn't much of a science student.

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  6. The same company now makes soapstone shot glasses. I picked up a pack of four because I thought they looked cool and don't break easily. However now I think I might need to soak them in water for a bit since you mentioned "off" notes.

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  7. Jason, I applaud the effort you took. I chill bottles to desired drinking temp (55F), not the drams in the glass with ice or stones. The "controls" I'd like to eliminate in your test are 1) that of your freezer itself as the source of the off notes perseceived in the dram. a) Do stones from other freezers or chill areas produce the same, or different effects; b) would the recommended, prescribed short stay in the freezer reduce the effect ? 2) Does a cleaned but not chilled stone produce the same objectionable effect in a when added to a dram poured from a suitablt chilled bottle ? 3) Do the off notes appears in a dram poured from a chilled bottle, with no stone added ? Ice for thought. JK
    JK

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    Replies
    1. Excellent points! I have tried room temperature whisky stones in my tumbler and they also impart so flavors. Not as pronounced as when the stones are chilled, but something nonetheless.

      I also noted that by the time I got to the bottom of the drink so to speak, those off flavors became more pronounced.

      Thanks again for taking the time to comment from sunny California!

      Delete
  8. Your knack for saving me money, be it on questionable whisky or gimmicky stones, is the highest form of public service. Thank you sir.

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  9. Jason, One more thought on a rare freezing morning here. Try chilling the stones within a small sealed freezer baggie or small food storage container. It may reduce transfer of freezer air off-notes to the stones. The technique used to do so may be a key. Simply by handling both stones and container with tone's hands may transfer the compounds (if any); maybe use tongs (?). In any event, your product review is convincing me already as a consumer, buyer beware. JK

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  10. Thanks for the review. I always prefer whisky neat and at room temperature, so my interest was academic. Now my curiosity is satisfied.

    I do plan to get a set of glencairn glasses for imbibing. Do they really enhance the experience?

    Jeff The Bear

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    Replies
    1. Glencairn glasses have one advantage over say a crystal tumbler (old fashioned) and that is due to the concave shape, you can sniff and nose the whiskies aromas much better than in a tumbler. With a tumbler it is still possible to nose the whisky, but you have to stick your nose deep in the glass.

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  11. Shame that they didn't work; it would've been a cool invention, and the idea seemed sound ... you'd think they'd have noticed their ineffectiveness while doing their own testing.

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    1. I thought about that. I mean when the product was in development you would have imagined someone would have voiced such concerns.


      The distaste caused by the stones is slight, more apparent to the palate of the spirits enthusiast, but nevertheless there. There is no hiding the fact that the taste is altered. Maybe not so important if you are drinking water, but becomes very signficant with single malts.

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  12. Interestingly, another whisky 'blog' scotchblog.ca had a survey http://www.scotchblog.ca/scotch_blog/2013/01/how-do-you-like-your-whiskey.html, asking readers how they liked their scotch. The survey appears to be a marketing effort by the good whisky stone folks. Not unusual to see the direct marketing approach at scotchblog.ca though...

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    1. I am not familiar with that blog. Matter of fact, I am not familiar with any as they all seem to be the same. What I mean is these whisky bloggers are basically platforms for the drinks companies. They accept their free samples, and press releases to get content. Just look at those airbrushed photos and you know that the content may be just as airbrushed.

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  13. Your review was informative and quite funny! Keep up the good work!

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  14. Jason,
    With respect to the ScotchBlog survey discussed above, while it did sort of come across as a marketing ploy (I filled out the survey, and I'm not sure I would have structured in the way they did), the group did do some tests on the whisky stones and came to the same conclusion you did...not worth the money...their results are here: http://www.scotchblog.ca/scotch_blog/2013/03/whiskey-stones.html

    Cheers,
    Dan

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    Replies
    1. Good to know I am not out here on a limb with my opinion.

      Cheers!

      Delete
  15. Thanks for helping me save my money Jas.
    One less useless trinket I have to worry about.
    I'll put that money towards a couple of nice glasses.
    AL from OZ

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  16. Amazing website! Your style is so contemporary in comparison with many other writers. Thank you for writing when you have the opportunity to, I will be sure to save your Taps Sale!

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  17. I chill my whiskey by putting the bottles in my freezer seems to work better then chilling it with ice :p

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    1. Years ago, a friend of mine also was in the habit of putting whisky in the freezer. It was Canadian Club. The chilling affect probably improved it.

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